Interviewer: Hello Viking, my friend, I am a time traveller, I come from the future and I’d like to ask you some questions about your culture and customs.
Viking: I will more than gladly answer your questions so that the people of the future can learn more about the Vikings.
Interviewer: Well then, first of all I wanted to ask you: Is it true that you Vikings wear horned helmets?
Viking: Oh no, it’s not! We only wear simple helmets to protect the skull. The only ones who wear horned helmets are god-like warriors from Sutton Hoo and Vendel.
Interviewer: Wow! I didn’t expect that. To tell you the truth, among our people, many know you for your horned helmets.
Viking: Well, now you know the truth.
Interviewer: Anyway, let’s continue the interview! Are you, Vikings, very violent people as many believe?
Viking: This is a difficult question. Some of us are very violent and often raid vulnerable monastic sites and suppress people, particularly in Britain, others live a peaceful existence farming, trading and integrate in the places where they settle.
Interviewer: It is good to know that you are not all violent. You, for example, seem to me a polite and peaceful person.
Viking: Thank you, I am just a farmer and I am actually against violence.
Interviewer: Is it true that you take what you want from a territory and then leave?
Viking: This is partly true and partly not. Many of us pillage the places they reach, bring back coins from across the known world to be buried in hoards back in our homelands, but many others also choose to remain in the lands they encounter, establishing lasting and important settlements, such us Dublin and York.
Interviewer: Wow, thanks to you some very important cities have developed. However, now I’d like to ask you some slightly awkward questions… Are you Vikings ignorant people? And is it true that you treat your women badly?
Viking: No, absolutely not! We are not ignorant people and we don’t treat our women badly. We Vikings are some of the greatest naval engineers and travellers the world has seen and Viking women play an important role in our society: they are guardians of the keys to both property and wealth, particularly when men are abroad.
Interviewer: I am very happy about that: what you said makes you very advanced people for your time. Viking: Thank you for your words, man of the future.
Interviewer: I will ask you one last question, which is a bit superficial, and then my interview will be over. Viking: Go ahead.
Interviewer: Are you unkempt people?
Viking: No, we aren’t. On the contrary, we are rather vain: we use combs and razors for personal care and our halls are large and luxurious.
Interviewer: Thank you very much for answering my questions and dispelling these myths about you Vikings.
Viking: It has been a pleasure for me and I am happy that you will now return among your people with a lot of correct information about my people. Farewell!
Interviewer: Farewell!